Calendula Fields Permaculture Collective

Saturday, January 5

Tell me if I get too personal ...

Getting too personal is not something I intended for this typing on a computer & making it public thing, but in a way it is about my crafting & making, so I take a deep breath & spill the beans.

If you live in Victoria, if you live in the sticks, or with big trees & lots of them, you know all about bush fires. And if you were there in '83, then '09 probably brought back more memories than you cared to remember.
Yesterday was one of those days where the CFA map was red [indicating extreme fire danger,] the temperature was something stupid above 40ºC, & the wind blew so hot & fast it was like standing in front of an industrial heater.

I don't like those days.
In fact those kinds of days scare the heck out of me. It makes it virtually impossible for me to be able to chill out / relax, & enjoy a day of mothering & hand making.
It is the kind of day where I don't feel safe living here in this beautiful house that I built with my own hands, intended with the specific purpose of making creating things much easier & roomier than my previous inner city abode, [that was being held together with masking tape & 130 years of paint layers.]
So instead of working on my 'i made this for you to-do list', yesterday I spent the day with my daughter at one of those hideously big shopping centres, the kind that have air conditioning, food courts, & cinemas. I felt safe there, & my heart could beat at a normal pace. We watched movies & ate ice cream & finally came home well after dark.
There was not much else I could do given the circumstances.

So I suppose I am writing this as much for myself as for anyone else at this stage.
Yesterday has confirmed my feelings of not allowing anything this year to stop me from making & creating. Last year a lot of 'personal' things stopped me from being able to make things … & when I got to the end of the year I was a bit disappointed in myself about how far my micro business had progressed & how I had let things get in my way, [still the website was not finished, & I was still not where I wanted to be with it all. Although I had made some pretty spiffy things that I could be proud of.]

But as I was recently told by someone - This year is my year!
It is the 13th year of the new millennium & I have always been a number 13 baby… so this year is mine. Nothing will get in my way this year. [Apart from mother nature & her crazy hot, windy days where I just don't feel safe.] So to remedy this, I have made concrete my resolution to move back into the innerness of my city before the next summer, even if it means not having as much space as a greedy crafter desires, & letting go of my own lovingly hand crafted house.
I just prey I make it through this summer first.

Now … back to work ...

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